these were meant to be with the previous post but I don't know what happened

I really thought I was getting better in a weird twisted way, but I'm only going downhill. I knew I wouldn't be able to stop thinking about my weight and all of that jazz but I had convinced myself that I was losing it in a healthy way. Well that was until I started to get the pains I used to get when I was purging ridiculously, when I say ridiculous I mean around 7+ times a day, after anything I ate even if it was a handful of sugarsnaps they would have to come up. It's all started again I was getting on so well but the past couple of weeks I've just had no control. I don't even know if I can call it bulimia anymore because I haven't binged in like forever but the purging is what's the problem. Sometimes I even get the urge to purge after drinking water or juice. I just don't know anymore I really don't but the pain is getting ridiculous and I don't wanna tell anyone *sigh* I wish I could just disappear

*so this is just some motivation as I doubt you guys want to be looking like me because it's truly horrendous. sorry it's a weird picture of me next to a drag queen but this was the most recent full body image of myself that I had. I'd gained about 5lbs (shoot me now) so in this picture I was about 1O9/11O lbs -_____- anyway just don't be like me and look like a fat potato*

okay I just took a picture guys so yeah

CW:1O8lbs