Just a rant

No pictures with this post guys I just need to have a mega huge rant about life in general.


(you most certainly do NOT have to read this if you don't want to but pictures will be up very soon to make up for the lack of picture posts)



So today was utterly horrible and if I could rip it out of my head I would because there is no reason why I would want to remember it. I was meant to be in school for 8:3O today but showed up after 1O because I just couldn't be bothered and that's been my life for a very long time now. The only thing I'm moderately consistent with is Gym/Gymnastics and this, but even then I forget occasionally. Also I went to the library today because I wanted to revise some more for a mock I missed today but ended up doing next to nothing and then buying a WHOLE PIZZA and eating it myself. I mean what the actual fuxk like why. I want to cut so badly but I know I shouldn't but it's probably inevitable as I have no reason not to other than I know I shouldn't. Also one of my teachers has come to the conclusion that I am clinically depressed so I have to go and see the counsellor and nurse to get a proper diagnosis :| not happy with that at all not one single bit. I've gained recently too which has messed everything up I'm now 11Olbs :| I want to lose 3Olbs by the time I finish exams which is the end of May. I mean I've once lost 2Olbs in 2 weeks and that was by doing pilates every morning and sit ups in the evening with 1 meal a day and a snack and a huge amount of water that meant I was going to the toilet for the majority of the day.
Anyway I NEED to lose that weight, 3O lbs would be ideal but if I can lose 2O by the time exams start on the 16th of May then I will be well on my way.
I do though have a favour to ask from anyone who does end up on here purely looking for thinspo or somebody to confide in.. I want a buddy to keep me on track because I really think it helps. even though we obviously and most probably will not meet up it's nice having someone to talk to about things when you feel like giving up.
So just email me and we can talk.
My fast is starting from tomorrow I'll quickly outline what I want to keep to:
breakfast: none
Lunch: whatever the canteen serve or nothing depending on mood (but if I have lunch then I won't have dinner)
Dinner: whatever my dad has made but if I've had lunch then obviously no dinner.
Exercise wise, I am going to go to the gym as much as possible although it will be exam time so I think that may only be once or twice a week but hopefully I'll keep up with gymnastics. also 1OOO sit ups daily and  1 hour + of pilates if I get home early enough from school. In all I should be able to get on track/target for 3Olbs in 34 ish days.
Wish me luck (sorry for just having an outburst)

my email address is chloedebrah@hotmail.co.uk please don't spam me :)

Hope you guys stay on track too and even if you don't want to join me in my fast you can message me and I'll try to help in whatever way I can.