“We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves"

^Currently my favourite quote.^

^Thinspo *LoveStruck*^

^Daily Thinspo^

Thought today I'll try to talk about something other that calories but I'll probs stray onto it. So 5 days ago I told me boyfriend that I think we should go on a break and then immediately regretted it but I'm to stubborn to own up to things like that. We didn't talk for a couple of days then when we did we had another argument. We have so many I really don't think it's healthy but I really like him & I guess we end up doing stupid things when we are/ think we are in love. That's another thing my 'older brother' well that's what I'm going to call him because that's what he acts like decided he was a suitable person to give me relationship advice after cheating on his girlfriend of 4years twice =S. Anyhoo he told me that you aren't in love with somebody unless you would give up everything for them including your life. Now I know that I'm no expert but that's kind of extreme I mean like woooow. So anyway he told me not to get back together with my ex because he'll just fuxk about. I'm now going to stray... So I'm on the pill, effective contraception might I add, and 3days ago it decided to finish. TBH that is my fault but I thought that I had another sleeve somewhere but I was obviously wrong. So it finished and on the first day I didn't take it my period comes for the first time in 3 months, I'm so upset, so I'm off to the doctors/ family planning on Wednesday to get a 6month supply =D.
Today hasn't been that good I had chips from the fish & chips shop. My period makes me crave such weird things; Pickles and custard or olive and grilled cheese sandwiches which definitely isn't helping with the weight loss *sigh* guess I'm just gonna have to work out extra hard.

Exams *sigh*

^Beautiful Legs^

^Daily Thinspo^

So I've done 12 exams now, some went much better than others. I guess I didn't get as addicted to this as I thought I would which is good, I guess it's the exam stress. Haven't been eating properly so I'm down which is good but not as much as I thought I would. The sight of food makes me feel sick =/ and all I do is sit in my room revising or texting so now I've been forced out on walks to make sure I get some fresh air every now and then. I'm currently in a park with my friend and it's 23:38 which probably isn't such a good idea as there are always freaks around but oh well I was getting sick and tired of seeing the same thing day in and day out.
Current Weight: 110lbs =[
Still need to lose another 10lbs in just over a week which I don't think can be done because I really don't have time to exercise and I have 9 more exams left to do and these are considerably harder than the 12 I've just done. *sigh*

Revision =|

^Thinspo^

^DailyThinspo^

Todays' been a really long day, I woke up at around 5 to start revision and I've only had one meal. Yaaaay me. My aunt also forced me to go for a walk because I've been stuck in my room revising and the only time I go out is when I have to go to school for my exams =/.
Today my meal was stir fry with grilled chicken not sure how many calories but I did go for a jog for about 30mins. Also got a new found love for my ipod, I only realised recently that it has a pedometer so now I can actually count how many calories I've burnt =D
Current Weight: still a horrible 114lbs
This slow weight loss is really upsetting me ='[

Exam!!

^My beautiful black thinspo^

^Thinspo for the day^

So today the exams began I had one English paper and a French listening. English hopefully went fine but French was such a fail I don't even know how it was so bad but it just was. It was one of those things where you come out and think 'Hmm that might have been okay' but then everyone is there discussing which answers they put down and just think to yourself 'SHXT'. Ahh well I can't change it now so I'm just going to have to hope that the grade boundaries are low.
So anyway I didn't weigh myself last week because I just knew I must have gained. The whole structured meal times really isn't working for me at all.
Current Weight: 114 lbs

but on the plus side I haven't actually eaten that much since saturday because I kept vomiting because of the nerves but other than that I hope it's been fine. I'm going to start a fast from tomorrow even though that probably isn't the best thing to do because my body and brain need energy during exam period I'm going to have to make that sacrifice if I have any hope of competing in the summer.

So my gymnastics coach says I'm too fat to compete ='[

^ThinspoForToday^

^

I've decided as I'm black I will try my hardest to post thinspo of black women. I think it will motivate me more if I see that others can achieve this as well =]

Well she didn't use those exact words but that's what she meant. I have to get down to 100lbs if I want to compete in the summer, which to be perfectly honest is good motivation =] but still she did say I am too fat for my height.
Today has been okay I guess, I've had;
1 litre of cranberry juice
some chips =| not so good
and two pieces of chewing gum
but there is still dinner to come which I'm again not going to be able to get out of because it's timetabled in as 8 o'clock.
I also went to a shisha shack but I didn't smoke anything so I don't feel too bad. That's another thing I've got to quit smoking really isn't good for my health and it has made my skin so disgusting.
When I finally get down to 100lbs I'm going to reward myself with a tattoo, I know i probably shouldn't but ah well. Although I've been on here for two days I think I'm going to become very addicted and end up posting more than once a day, and just get all the negativity out. Anyway off to exercise before eating which is weird and I know will only make me feel worse when I'm eating dinner but I will exercise after aswell.

Current Weight: 116lbs no change from yesterday *sigh*

I don't tell anyone about my eating disorder because they ask "Why aren't you skinny then?"

^MyThinspoForToday^

So this is the beginning, I've finally chosen to put this on another blog that isn't livejournal although I do love it to bits. So I'm guessing I should start with the stats;

Name: Chlo
Age: 16
Lives: London
Height: 5'2
Current Weight: 115lbs // 52.2kgs
Highest Weight: 120lbs // 54.4kgs
Lowest Weight (I can remember being): 84lbs // 38kgs

I've had an ED for about 9 years now, seems like forever I can't imagine a time when I wasn't either counting calories or exercising.
This will be my daily blog to keep me motivated throughout my ordeal and trying to get back to a lovely weight.
My day currently consists of absolutely no breakfast, eating in the morning makes me feel ill. Lunch is whatever the canteen decides to serve because I can never get away with not eating in front of my friends. And now that I have exams coming up and I'm always in my room revising so I've been given a strict timetable for when I have to go downstairs and eat which is shxt.
I do gymnastics, running and swimming so exercise wasn't hard to get in until i had to stop so that i could concentrate on exams *sigh*
I am also very (I'm not sure what the word is but it's not bipolar), well let's just say i can have terrible mood swings that usually land me in a lot of trouble
That's a bit about me [=