And sorry not many pictures today and they're all models
Monday, 28 November 2011
Update
Today my dad just asked me what I wanted to eat for dinner, and I told him nothing so then he had a chat with me and said he's concerned with my eating habits ¬¬ I really wasn't in the mood for it so I just told him the truth and said I ate Mcdonalds today that's why I'm not hungry, but previously the other days he asked I did lie :( and told him I'd bought something on the way home which he was always fine with... I have the huge urge to cut again and I have no reason I'm only stressed, but I guess that's my problem there's no real trigger it just happens *sigh*, I haven't weighed myself in a couple of days but I know I've put on weight so until I feel able again I won't weigh myself.
And sorry not many pictures today and they're all models
And sorry not many pictures today and they're all models
Saturday, 26 November 2011
oh joy (!)
Today I woke up after a crap night, even though I'd had no dinner last night I still felt shxt. I stepped on the scale this morning and I weighed 105lbs. I'm fuxking ecstatic!! But for some stupid reason I still feel crap. Today I went to my aunts house because her mum passed away last week =(, she's like my second mum and seeing her so upset made me feel like utter crap.
My arms are healing quite well after 2 days of successive cutting, I just hope they don't scar because then I'll be sent to counseling again and I don't have time or energy for that. The workload at school is really starting to get to me, I haven't been taking it seriously at all and I just don't know how to get into the mood because when I get home I either start exercising or sit with my laptop looking for thinspiration pictures =|. Another downer is that I went to the doctors on tuesday because I felt so ill and I had a blood test. Both myself and the doctors think that I may have Lupus, they were questioning me about the symptoms I may have and tbh I had a few too many of them, so I'm shxt scared that the test results will come back positive, this is just going to add unnecessary stress to my life =(.
My arms are healing quite well after 2 days of successive cutting, I just hope they don't scar because then I'll be sent to counseling again and I don't have time or energy for that. The workload at school is really starting to get to me, I haven't been taking it seriously at all and I just don't know how to get into the mood because when I get home I either start exercising or sit with my laptop looking for thinspiration pictures =|. Another downer is that I went to the doctors on tuesday because I felt so ill and I had a blood test. Both myself and the doctors think that I may have Lupus, they were questioning me about the symptoms I may have and tbh I had a few too many of them, so I'm shxt scared that the test results will come back positive, this is just going to add unnecessary stress to my life =(.
^my cheeks are fuxking enormous^
^she looks so amazing at 108 but I looked/well still look like a lump of lard ¬¬^
^sigh^
^the LOVE of my life^
Friday, 25 November 2011
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